An MSN advert just popped up on my computer, it had a picture of Kylie Minogue with her arse shaking in the direction of the camera. The headline above the picture was a simple question directed at me personally. “You Want Kylie?” I knew my answer, but I had to say it out loud because I really did mean it, “No.” I didn’t. I didn’t want Kylie. I don’t want Christina or Madonna either. I don’t want anybody. Here’s what I want, to influence the minds of youngsters before they fall into the pattern of wanting Kylie, or Britney, or J-Pez. I seem to have taken a particular dislike to Jennifer Lopez, which is why I enjoy calling her J-Pez. I just like the sound of it, it’s cheap and tacky.
These divas aren’t so desirable once you get past the hype, I think all men probably know that deep down, the problem is however, that the hype is powerful, and when you have a void in your life, the hype can often be irresistable. As far as the average human being is concerned, if there’s a hole in your life, “why not fill it?” If we’re lonely and company comes along, why not take it? The difference is though, we’re not being offered something that’s going to help us, like a friendly conversation, or a deep relationship. We’re only being offered lust. The media would love to fill that hole in our lives, fill it with J-Pez and her ass.
There’s a way you can look at these divas that kind of casts a sympathetic net of understanding over them: The more of a rough childhood or life they seem to have had, the more diva-like they tend to be when they achieve their fame. “Awwww, poor J-Pez, she had a rough childhood! & I suppose now we can feel sorry for all of them now right? Wrong! Totally wrong! In the words of Raekwon the Chef: “Pay attention! Put your shoes on!” The true, balanced view lies somewhere in between my extreme dislike and my extreme sympathy for J-pez. It lies at the heart of a broader understanding of the world we’re living in. J-Pez is a product of a society that is not doing very well. J-Pez is a product of a society that is failing. You’re damn right it’s that simple.
If there were a clearer example needed, I’ll provide one for you. I am a regular, if not entirely enthusiastic television viewer, and I, like many others, know about the media hype surrounded J-Pez’s ass. I always thought she would reject that hype, and strive even harder to show the world that she is more than just a big ass. After all, a positive society is not going to give someone wealth and power based solely on her sex appeal is it? Well as I’ve said, this isn’t a positive society, it’s a failing one, and as a result, J-Pez didn’t seem to be interested in proving anyone wrong about her ass. Last year, whilst visiting family in America, I saw a video for one of her “songs”. It was basically her shaking her ass for 4 minutes. She wore a shirt (so her breasts were covered) and other than that, she wore nothing but skimpy underwear. She shook it for 4 minutes straight, waving it around and around in front of the camera, in my face. I was shocked more than anything else, for someone who doesn’t watch MTV everyday, that video really was a quantum leap in terms of turning women into pure, complete and total sex objects. Thinking about it now, trying to find a metaphor for it, I can only think of an animal. A primate, waving it’s ass in my face to mark it’s territory. Why is it sexy? Why should she be waving it in my face? What is she really doing? It’s all too much for a guy like me.
I can already hear the dissenting voices amongst you telling me “if you don’t like it, don’t watch it” and in a funny way, you’re right. But in an even bigger way you’re wrong, totally wrong. You see the problem isn’t whether or not I watch it, the real problem is that it exists! It’s out there, and the even bigger problem is that everyone else IS watching it, regardless of what I do. My baby cousins in America are growing up with that garbage. My baby cousins are going to grow up with yet another obstacle in their way to living normal lives, because they, like every other soon-to-be horny teenager, will have a sense that women truly are objects.
If we were living in a female dominated society, where it was the females who loved to degrade the men to fulfil some twisted desire, then I can’t help wonder about a male J-Pez. He would be a bastard, rude to everyone, and marrying women he didn’t love just to get ahead in his career. Then, when everyone would be saying the only reason he was famous was because of his big penis, instead of defending himself, and proving those gossiping fools wrong, he’d make a music video in which he wore a tight black t-shirt, and nothing underneath. He would run around like a fool for 4 and a half minutes waving his genetically modified nuts at the camera whilst trying to maintain a ‘cool’ pose on his chiselled face. The girls would get horny, resulting in the whole world becoming one huge hole of piss and disease.
Think about where we’re headed, because from where I stand it’s not a good place. James Bond is on the television behind me, his Russian lady-friend is intelligent sometimes, but for the most part, she doesn’t have any depth. She doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things, she’s just a bond-girl. Everywhere you look you’ll see women being used as sexual objects of desire. Charlies Angels and the Spice Girls reinforced everything that these advertising demons would love us to believe, that women are toys, you pull the string and they may say a funny thing here or there, or even something intelligent, but ultimately, they only exist as objects of desire. Why else would there be so few normal looking women on television, and so many glamorous ones? Why else would obese black women do back-up singing for skinny pretty models who can’t hit the high notes? Why don’t the billboards ever show me a woman whose nose is too big, or whose teeth are yellow? I want my reality back, and the real world is not always attractive, the truth is not always good-looking on the outside, but by it’s very nature, truth is beauty. That’s a fact you may not understand, but can’t deny. So the question is, why are we denying the beauty that lies inside the souls of normal women?
It’s up to us to do something about it. Don’t just sit there and wonder why men have so many twisted fantasies. And don’t wonder why it all goes wrong when they mix their fantasies with a little too much alcohol? Don’t wonder why so many women get raped and violated, and don’t you dare wonder why there are so many paedophiles about when Britney Spears dances seductively in her school uniform, with the whole world knowing she’s 18 years old. Don’t wonder like a jerk-off with no brain, think about the problem. Think about the perpetrators, those who tell Britney what to wear, those who dress all the 10 year old girls you notice, walking around in tight skirts and make-up sucking on lolly-pops that they don’t even know the true meaning of. Don’t wonder through life like a useless jerk-off, do something about it. Become part of the truth, beautiful people seeking to make the world more true, and as a result, more beautiful. As a Muslim man living in Britain, I consider it my duty to speak out about the inequality that these advertising morons are creating. You’re a human being, so my final question is: do you consider it your duty too?
Text: Y Misdaq