Oh, dear! Dear, dear, so sadly dear. This is the exact reaction that echoed through my mental tunnel as I laid my Choo-expecting, famished eyes on what is probably the most atrocious invention in the ‘I do’ world; UGG bridal boots. Disgorge your breakfast if you will, because this one cannot be brushed under the sartorial carpet and concealed – it’s too bulky and ugly!
After confining many infected UGG-ites to wearing these ungrateful-of-heels creations in the name of ‘comfort’, UGG Australia have unfortunately decided to venture into the world of marital bliss (mainly to disrupt the harmony, I presume) with the ‘I Do!’ collection. Confused? Baffled beyond rescue? Me too.
And you thought the TOWIE vajazzle craze and Kim K’s short shelf life wedding was scary? Although UGG Australia claims that the I Do! range “provides luxury bridal comfort as brides and their bridal parties pamper themselves before and after the wedding”, (why then name the collection after the main ceremony?), I’m not in the slightest convinced.
Firstly, because I feel in a future episode of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, I’ll see a pair of these crop up under a monstrous chandelier-of-a-wedding dress, and, secondly for the mere fact that I see no wedding-pretty UGG possessing the power to keep at bay what becomes of every woman just before she walks down the aisle: Bridezilla.
Yes, maybe the bridal parties would want to invest in a pair so that they can silently tip-toe around hyper-sensitive bridezillas, than face the wrath of a nearly-wed’s scorn.
With a price range of £185-£220, and available in store from June 22, the capsule collection includes three styles; Sparkles I Do!, a classic UGG covered in white iridescent sequins; Bailey I Do!, a pearly suede pair complete with a large diamanté button; and Fluff Flip Flop I Do!, a sheepskin slipper (which, luckily, will not be invading the UK).
Where do I see this collection ever coming into any kind of use, you ask? Well, probably at Katie Price’s third attempt at marriage, or, maybe Kate Moss – the original UGG adopter (darn you!) may pick a pair to wear if she ever decides to have a vow renewal ceremony.
Either way, I don’t care if the adopters or wearers make these visually disturbing creations a sell out; I’m already thinking about the next potentially problematic venture into wedding gear; onesies with Chantilly lace inserts and a train to boot.
Will you be braving a pair from the I Do! collection?