Whether it is at work, at home, or in your social life, you’ve probably encountered a judgemental person in your life. You know the type: they feel morally superior to you for certain choices they have made, and they like to tell you just how wrong you are. There’s always room for healthy debate and argument between acquaintances, but ultimately, judging others will get us nowhere.
If you know someone in your life who is excessively judgemental, it can get you down. Being judged constantly can make you feel self-conscious, and can force you to second-guess your decisions. There’s nothing wrong with self-reflection, but when someone constantly criticizes you, it can be overwhelming.
In this post, you’ll find out how to deal with judgemental people without letting yourself be belittled.
Rise above their pettiness
If the person you are dealing with makes petty comments or criticizes every little detail, you need to learn to rise above it. This can be challenging if you are forced to spend prolonged periods of time with them – such as a family member or colleague – but in the end, you need to remember that you are the bigger person. If they want to spend their life judging others, you can let them do just that, and be above their pettiness.
Raise the subject calmly
If the constant judgement becomes too much for you to bear, it’s time to raise the subject. It doesn’t matter what it’s about: you could be being criticized for your mothering skills, perhaps if you are using Alula Baby Formula rather than breastfeeding or if you are seen to work too much; you could have tattoos that they disapprove of, or political views they don’t like… Whatever the issue, you should raise the subject.
If you are wondering how to raise such a difficult subject, here are some tips for bringing up this person’s comments or behavior in a way that actually works.
- Prepare points you want to make. There’s nothing worse than trying to have a serious conversation, and choking on your words. If you are nervous, make sure you prepare points you want to make, with clear examples of their judgements that you find inappropriate.
- Expect them to get upset or argue. Nobody likes being told that they are behaving wrongly – least of all someone who thinks they’re right all the time! Expect them to get upset, and prepare to react calmly.
Cut them off
Ultimately, a judgemental “friend” is not a friend at all. You can call out your friends on their bad calls, and argue with them – but if you’re judging each other constantly, it’s not a friendship. Unless you absolutely have to have this person in your life (if they are your boss, for example), you should simply cut this person from your life. If you try the above tactics and they do nothing for you, then it’s time to let go.
Judgemental people can have a terrible effect on your self-esteem, so use this guide to help you deal with them!